Thursday, January 30, 2014

Dear So & So..

When Pinky wrote some open letters the other day, it struck a cord with me and I knew that it might make me feel better and be somewhat therapeutic to do the same.  So I'm closing out the last week of January with a few letters of my own!
Cheers to February, right? ::insert eye roll:: I'm getting old.

Talk Dirty To Me by Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz on Grooveshark

Dear Rob: I know you think you are cute, funny, and witty.. but I taught you EVERYTHING that you know and I'm totally not this lame.

Dear Schizophrenic Neighbor: While I really appreciate that you and your "friends" like to get together now and again, discuss all kinds of stuff, and loudly debate things-- I really wish that you guys didn't feel the need to move furniture or get in heated arguments between the hours of 7AM to 9AM because it kind of cramps my style.  Just sayin'.

Dear Levi: You are absolutely precious, even when you are nonstop barking-- I think it's adorable that you are extremely obsessed with your Frisbee.  So much that it has to be hidden when you aren't looking. I think I might buy stock in them (just to annoy the neighbors, my Parents, Rob, or pretty much anyone who doesn't wanna hear your bark)!!!

Dear Chelsea Handler: Please write/publish another book!  You have spoiled me rotten and no other book has been able to make me laugh as hard or loud (I've read ALL of yours)-- not even Brandy Glanville's sorry ass, short "story" that I sadly bought on Amazon. Help a Gal out!

Dear iMagine "Colored Pens": I don't appreciate the fact that I sought out actual colored pens and found this brand. I was SO excited that we would have color pens in the office-- I even bragged to my coworker that I had a "prize" for her.  She opened the pens and they were all black. There was NO mention anywhere on the pen package that the pens were going to be all black.  False advertising much?  I think so.  Well, guess what?  I've saved the receipt.  I've looked up your number.  And I WILL be calling you to complain.  This may not solve anything and I doubt you will overnight me the colored pens we had hoped for but I will sleep better at night-- I assure you.  

Dear Hair: I just cut five inches off of you.. why aren't you happy? While you look happy and flowing, you still won't stop falling out. I understand that I am extremely stressed but for crying out loud-- give a Girl a break.  I can't handle this crap. Not to mention the fact that I USED to be able to go 3-4 days without my hair having the "greasy look" and now, after one day.. you look greasy.  What the EFF gives?  Why have you forsaken me?

Dear Snow/Ice that visited Pensacola, FL: While it was awesome seeing you for the first time, you made people act like they were from Planet Ape shit.. sent on a mission from hell to corrupt our beautiful town. All of the snowmen and frozen car pictures were cute but you need to high tail it outta this city and consider never showing face here for a long time. Interstates were closed, businesses were closed, I missed a day of work-- WHICH MEANT A DAY OF PAY (fuck!), and everything was just in disarray. Don't come back, Yo!  Peace!

Once again.. backing that azz up with the infamous Whitney!!
All the cool kids are doing it!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Floridians and Snow ~ Live & Learn #9

I have finally seen snow! And while it's fun to play in, I don't like being stuck in the house-- so I have a new appreciation for those of you who deal with it for more than one/two days a year. It's pretty insane here-- people just don't know how to react. While we aren't equipped to deal with these type of conditions, people need to settle down and stop acting like it's complete devastation.
There was talk of Pensacola being in a State of Emergency. Really?!
Now.. I know that half of this crap isn't exciting to most of you because you've "been there, done that" but it's a first for me so.. just humor me, would you!?

People have lost power, school are closed down, all bridges are closed, and most businesses are too. Most of the regularly scheduled programs on the normal news stations have been taken over by weather broadcasts-- it's a good thing I'm not a Rachel Ray or The View fan.

At 8AM this morning, I jumped out of bed and looked out the window! As fast as I could, I bundled up and headed outside. We live on one of the busiest streets in Downtown Pensacola and it was eerie-quiet (occasionally throughout the day, you would see a car driving about 2mph down the road). While approaching the sidewalk to get a picture, guess who face plants into the ice and rolls into the street?  Yup, that would be me.
It didn't phase me at all. 

1. Garden St.. all empty.
2. The sidewalk that I busted my ass on!
3. The front of our Condos.

My best friend, Raven, is a Respiratory Therapist at a local hospital and she had to be at work EARLY this morning.  While I knew she would be fine, I just wanted to check on her. In true BFF fashion, I sent her a text. This pretty much sums up our friendship-- and I could only show half of the convo on the blog because I didn't want everyone to see our raunchy & uncouth interaction.  LOL!!

I just love her and I would really pee on her to save her life!!

Did I mention that Cox Cable has been playing "The Day After Tomorrow" since yesterday when we started planning for possible snow?  Really?

So.. if I've learned anything here, I know that if there's ever word of it snowing here again (not holding my breath) then I will be sure to stock the house with waters/sodas and fun treats, be aware of walking on grass that has ice on it, borrow/rent as many DVDs as possible, and prepare to be stuck inside the house for a period of time (thank you Internet Gods- I've been online since 8AM this morning!  I kid you not!)
Live & Learn!
The Crafty Practitioner

And I'd like to leave you with this-- ONLY in Florida will we have these temps with ice/snow for two or so days and then have 70 degree weather by the weekend.

Welcome to the Sunshine State, folks!

I'll try not to confess too much..

My dream came true-- we got snow!! I know what you are thinking, why on Earth would you ever dream of snow? Well, I've lived in Florida all of my life and we just don't get it here. With that being said, all of the roads and interstates are closed.. businesses too so it's an official Snow Day. What better time to join Humpday Confessions.
I'll try not to confess too much!

Palm Trees and snow-- cracks me up!

I confess...

Confessions by Usher on Grooveshark

... I am the worst self manicurist aka lazy! If I have a reason to be super clean and neat, my nails will look better but usually I will just slop on some polish and then after showering (the next day), the excess polish on the skin will come right off. 

... I haven't been much of a snack person for years and if I did want to snack, I'd have a couple bites of something and be done.  But lately, at work-- I've either been eating my feelings or have a tapeworm because I've been snacking like I'll never get a chip again in my life. Something has got to give. On that note, have you tried these? It's no surprise that I love my garlic so when I saw these, I wanted to do a back flip! And then I wanted to try something different and saw the Rib chips-- so good! Can these be fat free please?

... I'm obsessed with Poo Pourri! We have it in the office at work (yes it was at my last job too) and while I haven't needed to use it, I giggle every time that I see it. It really is one of the greatest creations and the video/commercial is *almost* as genius as the product.

... I don't want to return the Guitar Glasses or Fuzzy Mustaches props that I wore when we did Photo Booth training at work.  They are just so much fun and who doesn't want their own Fuzzy Mustache (toy)? And on the same note-- I wish that the Photo Booth could be hooked up every day.  While I would waste tons of photo paper, they are just so darn fun. If you have never been in one, or at an event with one.. urge your friends to have one at a party or maybe their wedding. Worth every penny! 

... I lied to the people at AT&T, telling them that I was going to cancel my service if they didn't give me the phone that I want because I can get it cheaper without signing a contract at another carrier.  Not true! I've got an iPhone 4 and I don't know that I want another iPhone.  I want something with a larger screen-- maybe a Samsung Galaxy?? I probably need to do some more research too although I've been playing a LITTLE with my co-worker's Samsung 3 and I love it! The large screen is a huge seller for me. 
Do you have any thoughts on this, my Samsung users?

... I honestly feel that I can't have enough pictures of Levi and there is nothing wrong with other people who take AND post lots of pictures of their fur babies. For some of us, they are our children.. all that we have. They are comfort for us when we have nothing else and who we come home to when the rest of the world has turned their back on us. 
Fur Baby Power! 
(I need help, I know-- just got with it.)
Levi is too cute after a bath!

Is there something you'd like to Confess today?

Oh and don't forget to check out my Advocare Cleanse Giveaway!

Advocare. take me away ~ ***Advocare Cleanse Giveaway***

I've been wanting to try this Advocare Cleanse ever since Skinny Meg talked about it (& had great results by the way!) and I know so many others have talked about wanting to try it too, but it's out of budget for them. Well... a handful of lovely bloggers and I are here to save your day! THREE lucky winners will get an Advocare 10 Day Cleanse pack! So many people have had amazing results with this!

What is the 10 Day Cleanse? It's a GENTLE cleanse to rid your body of toxins and waste you've been holding up. Think of it as a great start to weight loss, or to get over a plateau. This is NOT to help you lose weight, but to help your body help you lose weight. Does that make sense? You hold so many toxins and extra bloat from bad things you eat. Think of it as changing an AC filter. You have an AC that runs great, but the vent is holding in all this crud that needs to go away in order for it to work right/blow well. When you replace the filter, you get rid of the crud, letting the air flow better. When you cleanse yourself, your digestive system works better and so does your metabolism. I have the weirdest ways of explaining things, ha ha! You can read more about the cleanse here.

Click HERE to join the giveaway!!!

Monday, January 27, 2014

Must have Snow Day Eats & Drinks ~ A Guest Post

Some may think I'm CRAZY, and some know I am-- but the temp is supposed to drop about 20 degrees tonight & rain is coming (it was about 60 degrees today).. schools are closed for the next two days and word on the street is: It's supposed to snow here!
This is blowing my mind because THIS GIRL has never seen snow!! 
In all of my 32 years of life, I've never seen it and always wanted to.  My "dream" may come true! I'm so excited that I may lose sleep! 
With that being said.. my sweet friend Jamie, who is no stranger to this crazy weather has so kindly offered to help me out in case we get snowed in (fat chance). 
Without further adieu-- I'm so excited to welcome her to the blog today!
You will love her JUST as much as I do!!

Hello everyone! My name is Jamie & I blog over at The Growing Up Diaries. I write about the adventures & disasters that come with growing up – buying a house, planning a wedding, being mommy to a fur baby named Izzy and everything in between. Today, I’m here to talk about snow days, of which I am an expert of – living in Illinois means you have a lot of days where you’re stuck inside. Take this week, of instance… the wind chill makes the air feel like it’s -45 degrees. Yuck! Well, the other Jamie whose blog you’re currently reading… she’s never seen snow until now! That blows my freezing cold little mind.

Now, I’ve already written a post about how to spend your grown up snow days, so feel free to check that out. But today, I’ll talk about what to eat & drink on a snow day... because this is just as important as how to spend your time. Actually, it’s more important. Trust me. Now grab your fur baby or whatever you like to snuggle with on a cold day & let's get started.
First things first. You need hot chocolate. Whether you need it to warm you up after you finish playing in the snow {or come home from work or whatever you do} or you don’t plan on leaving the house at all, hot chocolate is mandatory. Although I have always been a fan of good ole instant hot chocolate – quick & easy… that’s how I like things – I have recently found  a super delicious recipe if you’re willing to put in a teensy bit more effort.
What You Need:
¼ cup of Cocoa
½ cup of Sugar
Dash of salt
1/3 cup of hot water
4 cups of Milk
¾ tsp of Vanilla Extract
Marshmallows, whipped cream, sprinkles, etc.

How To Make:
Mix cocoa, sugar & salt in a medium sauce pan. Add water & heat on medium, stirring constantly. Bring to a boil for two minutes. Add milk, still stirring constantly & bring to serving temp -  DO NOT BOIL. Remove from heat & whisk in Vanilla until foamy {for mint hot chocolate, add ½ tsp mint extract in addition to vanilla}. Serve with marshmallows, whipped cream or whatever you prefer. Enjoy!
You’re also going to need some soup. I have a really easy and really delicious crock pot recipe for chicken noodle soup over on my blog that is absolutely perfect for snow days. I love my crock pot. I just toss everything inside and it does all the work for me. Oh, oh, oh, it’s magic… ;)

And finally, you’re going to need to end your night with popcorn and a grown up drink. Or, at least that’s how I need to end a day of dealing with snow. Then again, I am in the midst of the worst winter I have ever seen – if the roads aren’t covered in snow, they’re a solid sheet of ice – so the wine has been my friend on those really cold nights. If wine isn’t your thing, I have a new favorite that’ll make you feel nice & toasty in no time. And it’s easy – only two ingredients.
Photo Credit
Apple Pie Cocktail {NOT the moonshine.. }
1.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
1 bottle Angry Orchard Crisp Apple

Combine both over ice & enjoy. That’s it. And it tastes just like apple pie. As much as I love the Apple Pie Moonshine that’s made with Everclear, I also don’t feel the urge to get fumbling drunk on a regular basis… so this is a much better option. Plus.. I just really love Fireball. Tastes like Big Red gum. Mmmm. Side note: I will soon be attempting to marinate apple slices in Fireball & having them with ice cream. Thanks a bunch, Google!

And now, you’re ready to face any snow day that mother nature throws at you! With that said, I hope you have a warm & wonderful day. Stay warm! And thank you, Jamie, for having me on your blog!
<3 Jamie

This Month's Highlights

How is it that January is almost over? It seems like just the other day I was debating over what I would dress up as for Halloween. Although this has been a rough month for me, I've been able to immerse myself in Blogland and have gotten so much support from so many wonderful people. Along with all of that support, I've read some GREAT posts.
When my Bloggy BFF Jenni announced that she was doing a blog hop dedicated to all of the awesome posts of January, I knew I wanted to be involved and spread the word!

If you don't follow Jenni, check out her blog and participate. You can link up and old post or just read some other greats posts by some awesome ladies!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

A relationship that doesn't hurt! ~ Must Have Monday

I don't even know how to start this post-- I'm unhappy but with that being said, I don't give up easily. I feel like my relationship of two years is failing and I'm losing grip. Aren't relationships supposed to make you happy?  Make you want to wake up in the morning acting like damned Mary Effing Poppins? I normally AM that happy person but lately-- I'm feeling nothing of the sort.  I feel broken down (and frankly just want to cry myself to sleep-- and I have one more than one occasion). 
Now, one may argue that my "feelings" may stem from my son's birthday having come and gone but I know myself and that has nothing to do with how I'm feeling.

The Fiance is a good guy but with that being said-- I'm having a hard time seeing where he's coming from with some of the stuff he's been saying.
Example One: "Oh so you have a job now so you think you're cool and you get an opinion!"
Umm-- I've had a job all along, I just haven't been working every day of the week.
Example Two-- on my cashing my check; this conversation took place before I had gotten back in the car completely after leaving the bank: "How much money are you going to give me right now because I've been covering everything for months and you don't deserve play money." Umm no, actually.. you haven't been paying for everything-- I pay for a lot and you drive MY CAR.. and play money?? This basically means that he can walk around every day of the week with at least $200 in his pocket but he wants me to have less than $3-$5 in my wallet, while he controls how much gas is in my car.

This isn't even the half of it.  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?
I've never let anyone control me in the past-- my Parents haven't even controlled me like that. Am I really feeling like I'm THAT worthless that I deserve to be treated like that or talked to like that?  I mean.. I support him through everything-- from making his breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  To this weekend when we stayed at my Parent's house and he got out of bed and asked why I hadn't made breakfast yet/what was for breakfast.. and I got right up and made him two over easy eggs with cooked ham and cheese on toasted bread. 

The person that I love so incredibly much just breaks me down every day and even on Miller's birthday-- he never asked me how my day was.. never reached out and gave me a hug.  And in fact, when my very good friend who had lost a child of her own called me, he yelled constantly in the background and treated me like I was crazy because I wasn't "over it".  After I cried myself to sleep-- ON THE COUCH, got up the next morning and took him to work, hours before I had to be at work.. without so much as a thank you or a hug (not that I wanted one or to be touched by him), I get a text saying that he was sorry and he just missed his parents-- WHO ARE ALIVE and in Alaska. 
Well.. you know what?  I miss being treated like a fucking human being.

You know-- I can be told a million a one times that I need to get out of the relationship but something scares me about it.  I know that I am a creature of habit and he is the second person that I have every really and truly loved.  I just don't want my self worth to be knocked down like this each day and made to feel like if I walked off a short bridge, he might celebrate or find someone new.

My heart hurts so bad and I'm tired of crying and feeling alone.

The Crafty Practitioner

I must have someone that truly loves me and appreciates me.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Did my Fiance just pee in the bed?

It's been a long day.. you're tired and all you want to do is crawl into bed and fall into a blissful slumber for a solid eight hours before you have to get up to the sound of the annoying alarm clock and repeat the same annoying day over again. But you can't yet. When you got off work, you noticed that the dishes your Fiance promised to do when he got home before you did; weren't done.. he hadn't folded the laundry he promised either, and you really just wanted to sit down and catch up on a TV show that you'd missed. So not only are you stuck with the dishes from the previous night but the dishes from the dinner that you slaved over hours before but the wrinkled laundry and whatever has been thrown onto the bathroom floor, AND you have to make both you and your Fiance's lunches for the next day-- forget about watching the recorded TV show.. you'll just get in bed and have that "Ahhhhh" moment you've longed for.  

Just as you have turned off the lights and are sliding into bed you begin to feel something wet-- it's not random Fiance drool on your pillow but down by your mid body area and leg area. "WHAT IN THE HELL", you yell! Feeling as if you've gone mad, you flip on the light switch and pull back the covers, startling the monster laying in the bed..
"Did you piss in the bed????????"
As he looks at you with confused eyes, that are stunned by the bright light, and at the bed, he simply rolls over while half asleep and tells you in the most nonchalant tone--
 "no, I'm sweating.. I don't feel good."


Well get your damned ass up and change the sheets!  Not only change the sheets but double layer them and let me lay on the side of the bed that you just rolled onto-- the one that has not been tainted with your man-sweat! I have to get up in the morning too!
Would you believe that this caveman beast refused to move.. he refused to even get out of the bed so that *I* could change the sheets! Meaning that I could either sleep in his sweat or sleep in the couch. Pig!

I almost think I would have rather my Fiance pissed the bed.
True story.
Chocolate by The 1975 on Grooveshark

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Cohabiting ~ Live & Learn #8

So, you've been dating someone for a few months months and you both decide it might be a good idea to move in with each other.. why not?  You're together all the time anyway and it will only help your relationship grow and develop.  Only good things, right?  Well, there are some things you might want to keep in mind when you've just crossed over to cohabitation with your partner.  I'd like to share those with you for today's Live & Learn link up. Perhaps you can share some of your funny stories with me-- they might help me feel as if some of the situations I've endured really aren't so bad. Maybe.

The Crafty Practitioner

Most importantly, to me at least, is to be clear on household duties BEFORE you move in. If you hate to cook or clean bathrooms, can't stand when someone doesn't rinse out their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.. put it all out there in the open or this could lead to major resentment. 

Your new live-in isn't your therapist so don't treat them as one. No one wants to live with someone who is always complaining about every aspect of their life-- from talking about everything bad that happened at work to asking repeatedly if their outfit makes them look fat.  It gets old fast and it will put a damper on your relationship.

Even though you are living together, still have date nights. Not every night and weekend has to be spent at home. Dinner in front of the TV doesn't always count as quality time or spending time together. Plan special things that you could do together outside of the home that keeps things fresh.

Pick your battles and be patient. If either one of you complain about every little thing, those complaints begin to fall upon deaf ears and become counter-productive. Little things don't matter at the end of the day so try your best to let those just slide off your back.

Too much time together can become suffocating so do your best to keep your own lives and friends. Have your own hobbies and make time to do things on your own.

And lastly, do nice things for each other. Even if it's just having dinner prepared when your partner gets home or doing something that they would normally take care of.  Stuff like this goes a long way!

It doesn't seem like there is a day/week that goes by when I'm not trying to keep some of these things in mind so that I don't kill Rob or scream at him.  All men are different and you could say the same about chicks too. If there's one or two things that we could work on.. I'd say that it would be the household chores, spending too much time together, and doing nice things for each other-- he should do more for me! 
A work in progress, Folks!

I hope that you are able to link up with us this week.. 
and I'd like to introduce to someone special:

Meet our co-host this week, Erica!  She's a pretty special chick with a precious fur-baby named Penny. If you've never check out her blog before, you should because she writes about some of the greatest stuff from relationship advice to all of her worldly travels.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

No birthday cake, no presents.. just another day.

I haven't blogged since last Thursday and while I have gone out and done a few fun things like hanging out with my new friend and her husband, brainstorming/trying to figure out some new ideas for the company I work for, and doing random things around the house (like organizing stuff and detailing the car); I'm at a complete and utter stand still when it comes to being creative enough to blog, get overly interested in things that aren't part of my daily routine, and basically just being myself-- the Jamie that I know and love. The person that I've been is just a version that I can "flip to" (for lack of better words) when I just want to put the world on mute and cruise by until I'm able to deal with or handle life at it's every day "normal". 

Held by Natalie Grant on Grooveshark

This isn't the first time that I've had to deal with myself like this, so it's nothing new. It's that time of year again for me.  My son's birthday is tomorrow. He would be nine years old. If he were here, I imagine that I would be taking cup cakes to his school and giving out invitations to his birthday party. I can imagine that he would be excited for celebrating and all the special things that birthdays bring. But there will be no birthday cake and no presents.. for me, January 23rd will be just another day. 

Over the years, I've had to learn ways to "deal" with this day. How to cope with everything and everyone in the world going about their business as my heart aches incredibly and is caught up in the what ifs. I don't want to walk around with my head held low, having people feeling sorry for me but I also don't want to forget that January 23rd exists. I'm so ready for this week to be over-- to have the holidays and this birthday behind me. I want to be able to move on throughout the year and try to focus on being positive and making my life better. 

My hope for tomorrow is that I'm able to wake up in the morning and not dwell in the horror I was left with nine years ago but focus on the life lessons that I've learned that have made me a better person and to be thankful for who and what I have in my life!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Keep Your Hands Off... ~ Live & Learn #7

Listen.. I had great plans to post something meaningful about "Good things coming to those who are patient" but today was a LONG day at work and tomorrow will be longer. I adore my new job and all of the people (so far).. it makes me happy. 
Just to give you a tid bit of what I'm doing--
I'm working for kick ass DJ Company that also does Photo Booths and is VERY known in this area.. in fact, one of my co-workers was training someone the other day and here's a silly photo from when I jumped in the Photo Booth. These are great for Weddings, Birthday Parties, Receptions, etc!! (you can have ALL kinds of props and what not, like the ones I wore for a hour after the photos were taken- pictured at the top of the blog)
I decided to be silly and make today's Live & Learn Link Up a little light hearted--
Listen.. don't mess with some People's PBR!

Happy Thursday, Folks!
The countdown to the weekend begins!

The Crafty Practitioner

F! You! (The New F Word)

No, I'm not turning over a new leaf.. the "usual" F Word is still one of my favorite words but recently I heard a new use for the word that I really liked.
The "new" F word: Forgive You!

I've had to forgive a lot in my life and it's not easy.. not at all. While sometimes it takes me just days to forgive, I guess you could say that I've been a slave to forgiveness before.
Taking years to forgive someone happens often.  Not just with me but with others.  So I've heard and so I've witnessed. I don't feel that it's something to be ashamed of because I'm not. People cross lines, they hurt others, and they burn bridges! 
As I've gotten older, I'm trying to re-learn forgiveness and teach myself that the older I get, the more I'm going to have to forgive.. because even though I'm a kindhearted, sweet genius kind person that never likes to hurt others and does my best to practice the Golden Rule-- some people just weren't raised right and it's not always their fault.

When I'm really struggling with Forgiveness.. there are a few quotes or phrases that I've heard over the years, that I try to remind myself of. While I don't remember where they all came from, I want to share some with you.

I just acknowledge that we are humans, so we are allowed to make mistakes.
Remember that we are all doing the best we can at the time.
Because it takes less energy to love and forgive than it does to stay angry and hold a grudge. It brings peace to your life.
Forgiveness comes easy when you know that what people say or do is about them, it’s not about you.
For some wrongs, I just have to remember that they are responsible for their actions and then it is easier for me to just let it be.
It becomes easy when you remember a time when you were forgiven, centering on how it made you feel.
How did I forgive when it was hard? I came to this realization: no one ever gets to the end of their life and thinks, “I wish I stayed angry longer.” They generally say one of three things: “I’m sorry,” “I forgive you,” or “I love you.”

Maybe one day, Forgiveness will come easy to us all. The person who stabs us in the back, is rude to us for no reason, or just simply pisses us off-- but for now, instead of dwelling in being mad and letting someone's mistakes eat at me for a long time and cause me to have a heavy heart, I'm going to do my best and give them a big, ol' F YOU!
And Forgive them!

Maybe you can do the same?

The Hump Day Blog Hop

Monday, January 13, 2014

SH*T My Man Says!

Voyage of the Mee Mee

When Amanda told me that she was creating a Link Up about the stupid crap that Men say, I was ALL IN! While I say some pretty epic stuff, the Fiance drops some bombs that make me wonder what really goes on inside that "brain" of his. I knew that I had to share.
Lately, things have been pretty stressed around these parts so I think he's just on a rampage.. which I can totally understand. I can't wait to share with you a few tid bits of the BS that he's been so kind to "download" upon me. I would love to share ALL of it but time is pressed.. so just a little today!

The other night, while watching a movie.. a commented on how pretty the main actress was. I said something along the lines of "I love the role she plays in this movie, her personality reminds me of my own". 
Rob says, "I'd love to play a role with her.  Maybe something where she's half naked, in the kitchen, making me a pie!"

Me: I'm tired of taking orders about what dish you want from dinner each night. Either you help me make a grocery list with what you like or you get one of your other girlfriends to cook for you!
Rob: My other girlfriends don't cook as good as you and they don't serve me.
He almost died in his sleep that night.

Rob: Be sure to thank your Parent's for the Wahl Trimmer they got me for Christmas. My dick has never looked so big!
That's it, I'm calling your Mother!

Rob: Your Mom told me the only reason she got pregnant was because she was drunk... I'm never buying you alcoholic beverages again.
My Mother thinks she's funny-- she learned everything from me!

And I really do love this person! Forever!