Sunday, April 13, 2014

Honking your horn can be illegal!

First, let me say.. I do not have road rage! I've never wanted to harm anyone by driving them off the road, confronting them for doing something UTTERLY stupid, or "pull them over for a Citizen's Arrest" for endangering the life of someone in their car-- ESPECIALLY a child (most of you know I'm a hardcore child advocate here.. although I will call the Cops on someone if they don't have their YOUNG child in a carseat while driving #sorrynotsorry). I've grown up with Parents who have always told me, "One of these days you are going to piss off the wrong person while driving and they are going to pull a gun on you".. etc.  Well-- pull a gun on me and you had better shoot to kill MOFO!  

Anyway.. for those of you who are strangers around here, I live Downtown. There are uber lights and ridiculous cross roads. Yesterday, as I was making my way from my Condo Complex, I got stopped at a red light. Once my light turned green, I waited for a few seconds and as always, I didn't just put the metal to the pedal and speed away onward to my destination-- I sat there, in no hurry, as did the car next to me. That's when FOUR.. YES F-O-U-R cars on the opposite side of the road RAN THEIR RED LIGHT. 

I won't lie.. I like to honk my horn. I'm no stranger to giving a little "toot toot" but if you pull out in front of me, run a red light (when your dumb ass knows you shouldn't have and could endanger the life of someone), or just blatantly do something stupid.. I will lay on the horn like I'm auditioning for the lead in a band. SO I DID JUST THAT! As all FOUR cars ran that red light, I held my hand to the horn. The last car that passed decided that she was going to flip me off.. oh dear-- Sweetie Pie, you are running a red light and you have time to flip someone off? Well I second that.  I flipped her back off as well.  Flipping the bird is really nothing special to me.. Whoop-d-do! 

So after all four asshats did their illegal turning and I was able to drive forward through my "had-been-green-light".. what do I see?  Flashing blue lights!  Yup!  I was being pulled over! Seriously? Great!  So I had to quickly hide all the drugs-- I kid, I kid.  Honestly, I can't tell you the last time that I was pulled over.. in fact, it's been soon enough but long enough that I've been waiting until a certain date this year without a ticket so that my insurance goes down.  I don't speed anymore.  I don't break laws. I drive a damned Dodge Caravan Sport with an "In Loving Memory" sticker of an Infant on it-- seriously!!!!

I pull over to the safest spot, two blocks up (we are on the main road downtown), and the older Officer hops out and as he's approaching my door he asks me why I think he's pulled me over.  Normally, there's a couple different levels with/of me-- Super sweet, Sweet and funny, and Dick/Asshole/You're wasting my time Peasant. I resisted the urge to be a punk and when he asked his question I didn't answer back, "to ruin my day". I told him that I had no idea. Basically, the Cop told me that it's illegal to honk your horn longer than (this sounds silly but I want to get my point across) a "beep beep". SAY WHHHHAAAT???
What I did could be considered Road Rage-- and then flipping someone off was just totally unneccassary. I remained cool and told the Cop, "Sir, I hate to act like a preschooler but the person in the car did it first."  He stated he must not have seen it but he was behind me the whole time and beeping my horn for that long was unwarranted.  I told him that the cars blatantly ran the light and I was practicing "free speech".  HAHAHAHA yeah!

Basically-- people aren't allowed to honk their horn for more than a "beep beep" because it's Road Rage or some crap and you can get a ticket.  Also, you/we/me should be scared of the person you are honking at-- they could be carrying a gun and you never know when they are having a bad day and you could trigger them. 

So I was let go with a warning.. AND had I been given a ticket, I WOULD have won in court and it would have been thrown out because the ticket was/is/would have been absurd.  I honestly can't believe that I got pulled over for something like this.  AND, not to mention that I was FULLY aware that there was an SUV Cop behind me.. if I thought that I was going to get pulled over for something stupid like this, I wouldn't have bothered and wasted this Cop's time.. I would have much rather him spent those couple minutes solving REAL CRIME.. ya know, like the crime where a friend of mine was murdered and it's still unsolved, people have gone missing, etc etc ETC. 

Next time you honk your horn-- think about it. It may just be in Florida that the Cops are bored but it may also be in your local town too!?


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