Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Seriously? Sh*t Men Say! Edition 3

Seriously, one of my most favorite days of the month!! Even though I'm a day late, Amanda is pretty awesome I know she'll still accept me! Somehow, I managed to find a life and it kind of gets in the way of blogging.. along with being sick. Bleh!
Anyway-- just a few precious moments with Satan to share with you. 
The man thinks he's hiliarious and while I usually roll my eyes with disgust will giggle a little, I have to admit he had me laughing this month!

When Rob was working for United Carriers, one of the families he was moving was going to flush their Beta Fish.. so he literally brought "Red" home in a styrofoam cup. This little guy lived through a 3 hour drive home and I just love him. He's got such a personality and we talk to him and treat him like he's a dog or something.  We are weird. We know.
When we get home from work every day, I will ask him "Did you feed your fish?"
One day Rob is standing in the kitchen feeding Red.. loudly farts.. giggles like a school girl. And then says, "that tickled".

Rob always drives the car. It's a rare occasion that I drive.. it's not that I'm a bad driver, he would just rather drive. On one of the days that I was driving, I look over and he's scratching his balls.  I say nothing but just stare at him. He looks at me and says,
"What? My snatch itches!"
This caught me off guard and I thought it was hilarious! I happen to love that awful word.. and he knows it. It's not every day that you hear it from a man.

Rob hardly ever gets a week day off.  Hell, during the summer he will work on Saturdays and pick up side jobs on Sundays (and complain about it too-- yay me!). So, one week Rob didn't have work for two days in a row and I decided I would leave a very small to do list for him. When I went to work, I left a "Honey-Do List" for Rob that said to clean the Toilet. I got home and he had done nothing but made a mess.  I asked why nothing was done and he proceeds to look at the list and says that he doesn't know a 
"toe-lee-et" is.  While he pronouces it in the wrongest way.
Not funny!  Get your ASS UP AND DO YOUR JOB, YOU LAZY SOB!!

I am constantly telling Rob to be optimistic! But lately I will tell him to stop being a Pessimist. I guess he's gotten tired of hearing me say it and/or saying things like "If you were only optimistic instead of such a pessimist, then maybe you'd have a different outcome" So one day after I yell tell him to stop being a pessimist, he says,
"I'm not a pessimist, I'm an atheist!" 
Really? Stuuuuuupid!

Voyage of the Mee Mee


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