Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Currently Back from the Dead


The blue screen of death (aka murder of my precious laptop), stupid Florida weather, quitting smoking, best friend + pool & beer = FUN, bringing the laptop up a flight of stairs, where we already know we have no room.. only to find out there's no WiFi to plug it in, and really good food-- I'm somewhat back from the dead!  

I don't know what happened to my laptop.  I was on it all day, didn't do anything out of the ordinary and then I got the blue screen of death.  I know nothing about computers.. other than the same day mine died, my Dad's died too.  What is going on?
Of course, the fiance that hardly ever gets on the computer and doesn't know much about it (although he will never admit it, I'm NOT blind), wants to blame me for downloading a virus or something.  Even if he was joking, I don't find humor in someone that gives you crap when they know nothing about anything related to the conversation.

So we hauled up the Dinosaur Desktop to our second floor Condo where we have absolutely no room for this beast and realized we don't have the wireless antenna to pick up the WiFi.  It's not like I have been DYING to read all my blogs, post on my blog, and just have a computer ON next to me for SIX days.  So I have been tortured and only got what I needed to have an online computer that is freaking huge back at home!  Woot!


Surprises are okay but due to my insane OCD, I like to be able to plan things-- but BOY OH BOY do I like these kind of surprises!  My friend is leaving town (I know she will do GREAT and I love her like crazy-- this is the change she needs and I will miss her dearly <sniff>) so she came over for some pool time.  After she left, I walked in the condo to this.  Ahem, those of you who have an "eye" like I do, please don't pay attention to the window like I would normally do-- we are right in the middle of doing changes to the place that were there before we moved in and took over the lease for Rob's parents!  ANYWAY, I'm not a big "flower person" but something like this, especially lately, is just so breathtaking.  I needed this so bad from him!  You don't even know.
*I had to explain to him that flowers weren't "born like this", they are man made.  Just like blue carnations are made-- people make these flowers.  He finally touched the petal and realized they'd been painted.  Even so, I loved them and the sweetness in it.  
(So I hand wrote a sweet note and left it with peanut M&Ms in his sock drawer for him to find.. and I didn't even ask for him to share with me! *hashtag-- appreciative gf!!


The majority of the time, we will head over to my Parent's house on the weekends.  I will always cook dinner and normally Rob will be doing something around the house to help out my Dad.  This Sunday it was gorgeous weather so I invited my BFF Raven and her pup Hendrix (who is also known as Henry sometimes) over for pool time and dinner-- she is pretty much known as my Parent's other child after all these years. Let me just get this out of the way: I made cubed steak (my Dad and Rob love it-- apparently my BFF Raven does too), homemade gravy, corn on the cob- cooked on the grill, a HUGE salad with everything you could imagine on it, and brown sugar roasted sweet potatoes. 
Anyways, we had a lot of fun in the sun that afternoon, got both the dogs in the pool-- LEVI HATES THE POOL.. and we gave both of the pups bathes on the diving board.
Such a cool day.. Rob was around all day, he was just in the background taking pictures as he prefers to do.  Such a trooper-- plus he might have had a food coma, considering I made Cream Cheese w/ Onion Scrambled Eggs, Sausage, and Crescent Rolls. 

We also got free movie tixs this weekend so I can't wait to go and see The Heat-- I know I'm behind but it's really something we ever do.  And more more thing-- last week we had a last minute date night.. I cooked dinner and we went down to the indoor pool and had some time to ourselves to talk, play around, and swim.  It was great and something I really want to "work into" some of our nightly events of just eating dinner, watching tv, and going to bed.  We had both text each other the next day saying how much fun we had.


So.. I literally have 129 blogs to read and I'm still feeling SO behind.  The only reason I follow those blogs is because I love them and WANT to read them so I expect to read each and every one of them.. I'm so thankful to have my computer back.. for now!

 


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Loving this!

Seriously?!?



Welcome to Florida where it looks like a scene out of the Wizard of Oz in one place and something totally different fives minutes up the street!


Good way too early Morning.. if you read my blog posts a lot or just happen to live in Florida/Alabama, then you are all to familiar with the fickle Florida weather!\

Seriously?  Yes!  Anyway, as we rode in the car I was thinking about much the weather lately has been getting on my nerves and it gave me an idea for today!  I want to talk about a few things that get on my nerves.  Everyone has those few little things that really set them off and light a fire in their belly (it's a Southern thing) and then there are people like me that have more than a handful.   But don't worry, I'll only share a few today!

Yesterday when I was walking downstairs to take weather pictures, there was another guy headed out before me.. he held the door for me, we exchanged hellos, and went on our way.. well, I did.  I got a package of water bottles out of the car and he saw me, got up from where he was sitting and opened the door for me.  SO polite!  
Around "there parts", that's what men are taught to do.. you will even see young boys holding open doors.  Common courtesy for women as well.  Nothing really chaps my ass more than a man not holding a door open for me or any woman.. he walks in the store right before me and lets the door slam in my face.. Seriously?  And not holding doors open for the elderly?
Get real.  I blame your Mother.. yeah, I said it-- "YOUR MAMA!"

After high school, I worked at a Circle K-- yeah, all my friends wanted to buy beer from me before they were of age too!  One of the things that got on my nerves more than anything was when someone would come in and throw their money, including change, on the counter.  Seriously?  You can't hold it in your hand for two seconds so I can finish ringing you up and put it in my hand?  No one wants to pull each piece of your change, especially pennies, off the counter.  #lazy

Along with being in stores.. I get incredibly "upset" when people are cashing out and know there is a line of people waiting behind them and they continue to put money in their wallet (clean it out actually), finish their text or take a call, if they've bought a new purse, perhaps.. they transfer all of the items in the old purse, into the new one-- whilst you are standing behind them wanting to seriously tap your foot or put them into a figure 4 and pee on that new, fancy purse!  

Here's a stinger for ya-- one of the QUICKEST ways to get my blood boiling and hear me start clearing my throat as if I'm about to roar.. Parents that do not look out for their children.  And there are many things that fall into this category.  I'll name a few:
-Parents who are in a large, busy parking lot just walking to the car with their three young toddlers walk BEHIND them.  
-Parents that let their children walk barefoot, mainly in hospitals, the mall, shopping centers.  SERIOUSLY?
-Parents who talk ugly to their children, especially in public.  Yelling, cursing, etc.  People around you DO NOT want to see or hear this.  It's horrible and it hurts my heart.  It makes me want to throw you up against a wall and give you the same treatment!


One of the last times we were in Walmart, there was a young gal riding on a wheelchair cart who clearly was NOT in need of it.  She had another woman with her and three children, all walking.  We passed by them once and they weren't speaking nicely to the children, more than likely ages 6, 10,14?? I literally left the cart with Rob and walked to the next point of interest.  So we are checking out and the woman who was sitting in the cart was standing up to check out and the 6 year old sits in the chair.. the woman turns around and acts like she is going to throw a punch at the 6 year old's face.  SERIOUSLY?
I started going off at the mouth, not yelling, but loud enough for them to hear me and our cashier started working faster.  Rob eventually made me go to the car.



What gets on your nerves?



Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Don't Make This Mistake (Grieving)



All too often we don't know what to say to a person who has just experienced a loss so we say nothing at all to them due to the fear of  saying the wrong thing. The people suffering that grief often feel abandoned by friends during this.  So after suffering the loss of my son, Miller, at birth (full term).. I wanted to share with you a few things NOT to say to a newly grieving Mother or Friend.. as well as a few things you CAN say!


"Grief is about a broken heart, yet often we speak to people's intellect as opposed to their heart."

Please don't say this.. 



He/she is in a better place.



God needed him/her.



God had bigger plans for him/her.



God takes only the good ones, the best, the special ones, the pretty ones, the best ones, etc.



It’s God’s will.



God won’t give us more than we can handle.


You’ll get over it. 
(*A child’s death is something a parent never “gets over.” One only learns to live with the pain and live differently.*)



You’ll be back to your old self soon. 



He/she wouldn’t want you to be sad.



You still have other children.



This too shall pass.


This will make you stronger.



You need to move on.






This may help..

 Say the child’s name.

Say “I’m sorry.”
Give unexpected gifts to the family, to the other children, offer to run errands, shop, take kids to school, bring food, and demonstrate to the family that you care with your actions.

Call the parents to give them someone to talk to.

 Don’t compare your loss as it does not compare to the loss of a child.

Say “there are no words for me to say to you.”

Say “I cannot imagine what you must be feeling.”

Be silent and listen to the parent.

Research support groups and give this information to the bereaved parents.

Remember the child and mention them at holidays, family gatherings, their birthday, their death date and other occasions.

 Create ways to memorialize/honor the child. (Plant a tree, have a balloon release, plan a meal honoring the child, donate to a cause, create a scrapbook or art project, create a tradition about/for the child, email the parent when you have a memory about the child.)

Parental grief does not “go away” or “get better,” it just changes over time. Remember the above and you will become a positive part of a parent’s grief journey and not an invalidating memory during the worst time in their life. 


If you know someone that is grieving, feel free to contact me or click this below that offer a TON of Resources from Support Groups to Help for Siblings.  It's Great!



Never Ever Ever..


Wow!  Yesterday was a crazy day for me.. I don't know what's going on with my body..
I guess it's all the stress I've been under maybe, but I've been getting migraines A LOT lately.  I take migraine "prevention" medication and it's a pretty strong dose so I usually don't have to worry about them but these are visual and I can't stand them.  
I overslept yesterday and I had to get together ALL of our belongings (we had been babysitting my parent's house while they were in Sanibel Island), tidy up, and get a blog post out (that never happened), and go to work.  I already knew that it was going to be a crazy week due to the upcoming show.  I cleaned and then I took inventory and boxed clothes-- can I just state something.. ON THE RECORD here?  I HATE SCARFS! (is that how you spell it or is it scarves? hmmm)  Anyway, I do.  I would have taken a picture because some of them were BEAUTIFUL (by Zashi) but they are a pain in the ass.  Ugh.

Anyway, the sun is out and before I go to work and see how many times I can burn myself steam some new, cute clothes.. I thought I would link up with Neely!

Never Ever Ever...

Would I wish a migraine on an enemy!

Will I learn to love the crazy Florida weather (even after 32 years)!

Would I not love this..

Will I not have baby fever or think Squishy (Oliver) isn't the cutest!

Will grilling out not be fun, especially with great friends and their wild dogs!

Will I eat or enjoy cooking over easy eggs!
 (Rob's breakfast Sunday--PS.. these thin chops HAD to be cooked)

Will I watch the news NONSTOP to get a glimpse of the Royal baby!

Happy Hump Day!



How Important is Social Approval to You??


I'm very excited to be linking up with a great group of Women for today's Coffee & Conversation with Kalyn. 


These Gals always seem to have the most meaningful and real topics of conversation.. beyond celeb news, what you did crazy over the weekend, or how many diapers your precious little one pulled off and hid from you.  This is one of my favorite link ups to participate in-- I just wish I could speed it up and post when everyone else does-- instead I put SO MUCH thought into it that I think about it ALL day!

This week's questions was:
"How important is social acceptance to you?"
BOY OH BOY-- this baby hit home with me.. I've struggled with this ALL my life!!

Growing up, I had the life that most children only dreamed about.  I got everything I wanted, never went without, went on wonderful vacations, and had the perfect parents. The only issue was that all throughout my preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school years.. I was not only taller than everyone else (I'm 6'1") but I grew to be morbidly obese.  I AM that girl that is told, "but you have such a pretty face".  My parents spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on new schools, clothing, doctors, counseling, etc.. just to make me feel better, to figure out if there was something medically wrong, and for me to speak to someone about my eating issues. 

There were often times when I would act out and was highly depressed due to the treatment from others.  It's crazy, just thinking of some of the things I would do to try and gain the acceptance of others-- to hang with certain groups in middle school, just to be noticed not for being fat but for HAVING A SOUL!

I remember all the things that I would hear behind my back, all the stares I would get, and I remember also the girls that wouldn't want to hang out with me because I wasn't "just like them" and they thought that boys wouldn't want to be around if the "fat girl" was there.  I was always the comedian--- making fun of myself before others.  
Looking back-- I stole my OWN self esteem.  I took it, crumbled it up, and threw it away like a piece of trash that wasn't worth anything.  

When I started losing the weight, I started realizing what others should have all along, and what I so shamefully tossed away-- I wasn't just a pretty face but I was SOMEONE!  I have learned that the approval of others does NOT effect the way I sleep at night, how my family loves me, and how my true friends think of me.  If those who hold higher order know that I am forthright, confident, and sincere.. which all shows in the way I carry myself.. then I can live with that-- but it's not something I'm going to chase.
And God.. he knows me, he accepts me, he loves me-- so I'm ALL good with that! 

Over the years, through all my emotional ups and downs.. I have learned that social acceptance is not important to me at all..  Personally, those people who some crave the acceptance from.. may not turn out to be that great anyway.  I don't want to be like anyone else-- I want to be an original, unique.  And I feel that if you 
LOVE YOURSELF then others will too and they will fall in line.








Sunday, July 21, 2013

TV Shows & Sunday Social

This is how I feel about next week!!
I will admit that I am writing this post early-- It's Saturday and I was hoping today would be beautifully sunny.. we would have friends over by the pool and BBQ but no such luck!  Also, I was awoken by Rob's co-worker not only ringing the doorbell but banging on the door at 7am-- Not cool, Bro!  
As I sit here, looking at this gloomy window, watching Marathons of Undercover Boss, and praying that either the day clears up or at least tomorrow is sunny, I'm starting to face the reality that next week is going to be hell.

The people I work for are getting ready to go to another show and that's when shit gets REAL!  REAL FUN CRAZY!  I've been warned at least three times that we are going to be busy.  I don't know whether to be excited that I will be working with clothes instead of cleaning out dirty cabinets and putting contact paper in them.. geez, that's tough!
As Rob likes to put it.. "At least it's a paying job!" WHATEVER! 
I will live and it will give me something to bitch blog about!  

I DID get off early both Thursday and Friday so I was able to spend some time with friends at the pool (hashtag nopoolrules-- haha we are watching my parent's house)..
My friend's from Brooklyn (I've spoken of them before, they are SO funny) drove across town, hauled in ALL of their stuff, and only got about a hour of sun before the clouds and rain poured in.. but in usual Florida fashion-- one hour later it was gorgeous again.

My best friend Raven came over and because she works 12 hour overnights as an RT, I'm thrilled when I get to see her because her schedule is SO crazy.  She also brought my puppy nephew, Hendrix!  We were able to snap some video and pictures in true BFF style.
It never fails that when we are together, we act stupid-- only we find it hilarious, we talk in voices, and make the BEST memories.  (*side note* Raven is THE most important friend that I have and will EVER have.. I value her more than most of the people or possessions I have.  I will be doing a BFF post this week and bringing back some OLD pics- kthnx)
Raven's dog, Hendrix, seemed to love the pool.. she put him in a couple times and even floated him around for awhile.  I was going to include the video but I sound insane and there's a little too much cursing! LOL
Levi, on the other hand, DOES NOT like the pool.  When he was just a puppy, I wanted him to know what the pool was (to prevent him from drowning) so he was put in one numerous times.  He will not even come near anyone when you call him and you are in the pool.  He also does this CRAZY thing when you hold him over the water..


(found this fella in the window too-- he DID NOT want to die!)

And of course.. no one ever comes over (especially Raven) without some good Jamie-cookin'.. I literally just put a little EVOO, Cavender's Greek Seasoning (I live on it), and pure honey on each side, and VIOLA!


As usual though.. it's rare that I miss a chance to link up with one of my favorite peeps, Neely, for the Sunday Social.  You all should check it out-- there are a different set of questions each week and a GREAT chance to meet an awesome community of Blog Gals!







1. What is your favorite TV show as a kid?
Garfield?  I didn't watch much TV and I never liked Cartoons.  Maybe Full House?
I loved watching The Sound of Music and Grease!!




2. What is your current favorite TV show?

Wow!  This is a hard one.. do you mean a show that I have to what in privacy when no one else is around so there is no commentary or interruption? I like the Real Housewives of Wherever but I can't watch that when Rob is around because it drives him crazy.  Otherwise it would have to be Undercover Boss, Below Deck and Catfish!




3. Which reality show would you NEVER do?
I'm pretty sure that I would never do a show like Survivor or Wipeout.. basically anything where I would get beaten up or broken.  I'm pretty fragile, lol.



4. Which reality show would you LOVE to do?
The Real World.. all the way!  I would bring so much comedy to that show!
I am ALWAYS doing stupid things (like below)-- the other day I was Prancerizing in the store!



5. What is the TV personality/character that you feel is most like you?
Totally Chelsea Handler!!  


6. Which TV character would you want to date?
A hot one.. with a job, a car, and his own money.. that likes dogs and is able and willing to have children.  I'm not that into TV characters so I wouldn't even know where to begin.  We could go back to Grey's Anatomy... when I watched it-- McSteamy?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

GO AWAY......



Rain, Rain.. GO THE HELL AWAY!
Ugh.. Rob is on his way home and I wish it was pretty outside.  I thawed out some beef tips and ground beef-- Don't Kabobs and Hamburglers sound good??
I don't really eat big hunks of meat so I usually do a few with a TON of veggies on it!


Well not when you are sitting near this...


I'll stop whining and keep watching Chopped.. but only after I laugh at this again!


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What A Girl Wants Wednesday #3

What a Girl Wants Wednesday!



Happy Hump Day!  We ALL have wants and needs so today I'm going to tell you a little about what I'm wanting-- oh and I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, "You can put want and in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster"?  Well there is no need for that here today.. My wants aren't too crazy.. all I've asked for lately was a mop!

I want to be this small again.. 

However, I don't want to be as sick as I was.  This was taken on my first day back at work after I'd spent a month in the hospital and had a feeding tube for 42 days.  And I literally was admitted to the hospital the very next day to have fluid removed off my lungs. Bleh.
I guess some people just get into a relationship and get the "freshman twenty"?

I want pharmaceutical companies to stop charging SO much..

So this medication is for migraines.  
Let me explain-- all of my medication is free as part of my Health Insurance, which is $627 a month (it's a Cobra plan), the pharmacy will always list "this is how much money your insurance saved you and I love to check it out.
On Friday I got nine of the pills (the pharmacy had to order the rest of the script) and the cost of the pills said $192 on them.  I was shocked that they would cost that much and  figured that was the cost of the ENTIRE script-- uhhh, no.
I pick up this gem yesterday!  
$454.92 + $192 = $646.92??????
This is medication (Imitrex) that I must have due to chronic, crippling migraines and the cost is insane.  I cannot imagine what someone would do if they didn't have the money to pay! 

I want people to realize to learn phone/text etiquette...

My cell phone is never far from me, EVER but sometimes I just can't respond.  If you text me once and I don't reply.. ding ding ding-- I might be busy.  Then if you text me again and I still don't reply, it's going to start getting annoying.  AND THEN if you text me a question mark, I purposely with not text you back.  And worse, if you call me and I have to stop what I am doing to answer--
YOU WILL GET ATTITUDE! 
I don't blow up someone's phone.. it's rude, don't do it to me.

I want to sing or play guitar..



This is my neighbor Julie.  She's a great singer and used to sing all over Pensacola at bars and clubs.  Lately she's been writing songs and likes to play them for us.  Rob wouldn't be quiet for long last night so I only got a couple seconds of her singing..
But I think it would be fun to be able to play the guitar and it's sad I can't, considering my Uncle used to teach EVERY instrument.  I took piano lessons as a child but gave the piano to my niece when she was younger.

I want to buy stock in Airwick Plugins...

(this is not my photo)

Yes!  I know that I can barely smell (if you have read my blog, you know this) but every once in awhile I SWEAR that I can smell something sweet when I walk into our Condo.  Rob says he smells the Plug in (we only have one plugged in but there are three empty ones that need to be filled, Folks!).. maybe I just need the reassurance that our house smells so fresh of flowers and whatever in the hell else type of plug ins that are sold.  
But, I.NEED.THEM.
Feel free to send some my way and I will be your friend for life.  FOR LIFE!

This is a DOUBLE Want.. 
I want weekly manicures and polish that does not chip or come off easy...

Let me start by saying.. I CAN and DO paint my nails well and it's not on rare occasion either.  Last night our neighbor came over to serenade us and Catfish was on.
Also, she brought wine (and two different polishes).. need I say more?
It NEVER fails that when I am doing my nails, I get polish all over my hands--
that's okay though, it can be taken off at a later time or date even.
I got so frustrated last night because I was doing such a half assed, crappy job that I gave 
up after one hand and literally went to work with that one hand painted..
and looking exactly how it does in the above picture.  
I guess it's a good thing I just cleaned today at my "part time computer help" job.

The sun is out and I'm off (again) Tomorrow!
High Five Sistas!








Tuesday, July 16, 2013

We WILL beat this! (For the love of Colby)


I made an announcement that I had something VERY important to talk about and since then I've been having the hardest time with writing this post.  I'd like to start with 
giving you a little background on this "story" first and then get to the the point..

When I was in grade school, I was watched after school by a lady named Kim who had two children around my age.. Chase and Colby.  We would play in the afternoons, have sleepovers, watch movies (hello introduction to The Goonies).  Us kids were pretty close-- oh and Chase's birthday was the day before mine.  Mrs. Kim would drink Tab and to this day, I still love it.  I have the fondest memories of all the fun stuff we did.. and her jello squares.  And as a side note, now that I am older, we share the "bond" of both having lost babies.  Kim is one of the most beautiful, outgoing, and always smiling people that I have ever known but most importantly-- she IS the epitome of a Mother.



With that being said.. I want to share something with you and ask you for your help--
whether you can monetarily help or just help with prayers.. either is PERFECT!
Colby is very sick and I will fill you in on that but not before telling you how WONDERFUL this beautiful soul is..
Not only is Colby a newlywed to a Fantastic Fella but she is the mother to a precious four year old Taylor and to her eleven year old, twin stepchildren.
She's vivacious and outgoing and adores her family!
(Did I mention she has a great sense of fashion and I want her to dress me? hehe)



So enough with the adorable photos, here's the 411.. (Cliff's Notes Style)


A little over a year ago, Colby starting to have pain on the right side of her body. At the time, she did not have health insurance so the type of care she received was very scattered. They first thought she was having problems with her appendix, then her ovaries, her kidneys, her liver and so on. She was sent from doctor to doctor as it became more painful and confusing. When she and Vince (her amazing new husband) got married she was covered under his insurance. Since January, she has been seeing a neurologist who has been wonderful in trying to figure this out!

Her symptoms: Pain from shoulder to toe on the right side of her body, 60% loss of peripheral vision in her right eye, an abnormal protein in her blood that continues to grow higher, an extremely abnormal EEG with no specific details.. Most recently her heart rate dropped to 25 and stayed between there and 48 for over 8 hours then went as high as 160 for no apparent reason. Now she cannot keep food down for days at a time then does ok for a day or two. Her Neurologist still believes that it might be a form of Wegener's Disease (Wegener's granulomatosis is a very rare disease that affects many different organs and systems of the body. It mainly attacks the respiratory system, such as sinuses, nose, windpipe, lungs, and the kidneys. One of the main features of the disease is an inflammation of the blood vessels. The inflammation narrows the blood vessels and reduces the blood flow to the affected organs. This destroys tissues and damages vital organs) but the tests they have done do not show that.

Every day her family is seeing her get little bit worse than the day before.  As a Newlywed and a Mother herself, this is just emotionally and physically disturbing to Colby.. and it's destroying her Mother. The plan is for Colby and Kim to leave on Sunday for the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, and will be starting appointments Monday July 22nd. It is our hope that the great doctors at that Clinic can get to the bottom of this horrible illness and set a plan to fix all of these problems so that Colby can get back to her normal self as an excellent Mother and new wife! 



So here's what I'm asking.. 
Please check out Colby's Facebook Page:

Both Colby and Kim have had to take off a large amount of time from work and could greatly use some assistance with the financial burden during this horrific time.
There has been a Paypal account set up for donations for Colby. Any donations are greatly appreciated. This account can be found through Kim's email address, which is kmweiner515@yahoo.com.


**And now let me say this.. I normally don't ask for anything and I wouldn't do this for just anyone.. but Colby and Kim are family and Colby is suffering-- just as her Mother's heart is breaking while watching her daughter go through this.
I KNOW that not everyone can donate money and that is fine.. 
If anything at all, can you do me this favor?
PRAY!  PRAY! PRAY!
Pray for this family that is feeling helpless and is suffering.. 
Pray for Taylor so that her Mother can be healthy again and be the Mom she wants to be..
Pray because THIS COULD BE SOMEONE YOU KNOW!
And Pray because I'm begging you, on my knees.

Thank you!